Published at 26th of March 2019 12:07 am

Volume 2, Part 6

May 3rd (Sunday) 21:32

And then she arrives, not even 20 minutes after that phone call ended.

The window is broken and splintered glass is scattered across the room. She smashed the glass with her sneakers and is now standing in the center of the room in her regular clothing.

"...You already knew my whereabouts, otherwise you couldn't have arrived that quickly?"

Miyazaki-kun is looking at her from the corridor right in front of the entryway, and holding a kitchen knife against me.

"Did you really think it was hard to suss out? You'd never make such a phone call in public. So you'd most likely be at home, don't you think? After all, what other place would come to mind?"

"But didn't you still get here too fast?"

"I already knew where you lived back when you revealed your partnership with [Yuuhei Ishihara]. ...Come on, haven't you done enough already? Take your hands off Kazuki. Didn't you say that you don't want to take on the risk of murder? If you stab him, you'll take on more than just a risk. You're sure to get punished for inflicting serious bodily harm or worse."

"Shut up."

"There's no need to get panicked just because things didn't go as planned. Isn't your goal to not be threatened by [Yuuhei Ishihara] anymore? Hand Kazuki over to me and I promise to stop [Yuuhei Ishihara]'s threats!"

"That's just a hollow promise, isn't it?"

He acts as if he's irritated and ignores her.

Why is Miyazaki-kun doing this?

—he's raising the drop height.

Miyazaki-kun is acting out the role of a generic enemy and trying to set the stage so that the impact of my betrayal will be even more powerful.

Otonashi-san is going to defeat the enemy, Miyazaki-kun, and then save me. Of course she will feel relieved and pleased.

And then I'll betray her.

Thus, for the sake of this 'drop height,' Miyazaki-kun must not make it too easy for her to rescue me.

"Buzz off! Didn't you already have your last rendezvous?"

"Stop your mockery!"

But why isn't Otonashi-san immediately attacking him?

Sure, his knife is currently pressed against my throat. But that's a meaningless threat. Miyazaki-kun wouldn't stab me since he supposedly wants to commit a risk-free murder in order to avoid being threatened.

"You know, I thought you were a logical person with a firm will."

That means she knows that he doesn't plan to stab me.

But she still isn't stepping forward.

"Cool down, Miyazaki."

I guess she can't rule out the possibility that I might still get stabbed. Miyazaki-kun might lose his temper and stab me by mistake.

......Is this the reason?

Is she holding back because she's not completely sure that he won't harm me?

"......"

No way, huh.

After all, there's no reason for her to be that concerned about my welfare.

I still don't know why, but Otonashi-san isn't making a move. It's a deadlock.

Miyazaki-kun pokes my flank with his left hand, hidden from her gaze.

......I know!

I received instructions for what to do in a deadlock. I didn't want to follow them, but it seems like I have no choice.

He told me not to hold back, because then she would notice that we're just putting on a performance. I swallow my saliva and proceed to act.

I—bite Miyazaki's hand as hard as I can.

"...Uwaa!!"

His scream is a reaction to the pain with no acting involved. Miyazaki-kun smoothly drops the knife as we arranged beforehand.

We created an opening, and Otonashi-san leaps upon this opportunity.

It truly happens in a split second.

We're in a tiny six tatami-sized room. In a single moment, she is already directly in front of our eyes. She rushes toward him and head-butts his nose. She steps into the space between me and Miyazaki-kun and drives him back by hitting his chin even while he holds his nose. She then quickly picks up the knife and throws it out of his reach.

"Step back, Kazuki."

I nod and obey.

Otonashi-san also steps back and starts to speak.

"Give me the keys to the handcuffs and footcuffs, Miyazaki. I'll let you go without any further punishment."

"......You're softer than I thought," Miyazaki-kun says while suppressing his nose bleed with his hands.

"You could have just as well choked me. I would've had to give you the keys."

"...There's no need to go that far."

Those words trigger my memory. Right. Otonashi-san doesn't like to use violence. She was willing to fight because she had to in order 'to save me'. But she would never be able to choke just to make him give her a set of keys.

Miyazaki-kun alters his stance, and then he jumps and tries to grab her. But as soon as he touches her, Miyazaki-kun flies through the air.

"Wha—!!"

He's no longer acting, he's genuinely surprised.

It happened so quickly he didn't even have time to perceive his own defeat. She dealt with him by performing a magnificent shoulder throw.

"If you approach me, I'll knock you down."

"...Damn, I didn't know you were a Black Belt in Judo!"

"It's no wonder. After all I'm just a White Belt. ...Well, I have defeated several Black Belts already, though."

After saying that, she puts him in a Kesa-Gatame [1]

"Ugh..."

"I heard a metallic sound when I threw you."

She searches through Miyazaki's pockets with her free hand. She finds the object in question in no time flat and throws it to me. The objects that fall with a metallic clink on the floor are the keys to my handcuffs and footcuffs.

"Kazuki, what time is it exactly?"

"...21:39."

"So we're all good. Kazuki, take your cell phone and immediately escape over the veranda. I'll follow you in five minutes. Until then, I'll make sure this guy's unable to move."

Miyazaki-kun quickly peeks at me. Don't worry, I'm not going to follow her instructions.

But because of the Kesa-Gatame, I'm unable to handcuff her. What should I do? I can't restrain her like this.

I drop my gaze.

And see something…which is when I hit upon...

I hit upon the worst, and thus, most meaningful, way to betray her.

Aah, if I do this I'll become Aya Otonashi's worst enemy. I already made my decision, so I assumed that things might end up like this. But this is really just too bad.

The keys she threw me don't fit. The appropriate keys were in my possession all along.

Using them, I remove the cuffs.

Once I'm free, I pick up—the kitchen knife Otonashi-san had thrown to me.

"Aya."

I point the knife at Otonashi-san.

She will recognize right away that I lack the guts to stab her. But that doesn't matter. It doesn't change the fact that I'm betraying her.

"Let go of Miyazaki-kun."

Otonashi-san sees the kitchen knife in my hand.

And—

"Eh...?"

I'm the one who instinctively gasped in surprise, not Otonashi-san.

She opened her eyes wide and stopped breathing just because I pointed the knife at her. I have never seen her look so defenseless.

Miyazaki-kun takes this opportunity to free himself from her arm lock, but she remains petrified.

I approach her with the knife, crouch down, and handcuff her. After she allows her hands to be restrained without resisting, she finally opens her mouth.

"What... does this mean, Kazuki?" she says falteringly.

"What is this... I don't understand. Why did you point a knife at me...?"

"He betrayed you!" Miyazaki-kun explains in my stead.

"Betrayed me...? There's no reason to do so. Kazuki cannot oppose the Sevennight in Mud without me. He would only betray me if he surrendered to you and gave up, but that's impossible. Therefore he would never betray—"

"So that means Hoshino surrendered to us and gave up, doesn't it?"

"He gave... up?"

I reflexively avert my eyes when she directs a pleading gaze toward me.

"Fu—"

Laughter leaks from Miyazaki-kun's mouth.

"Fufu, ahahahahaha! What's with this sad sight, Otonashi? Please stop already! I had a relatively high opinion of you when I was fighting against you, you know? But just how delicate are you, getting all shocked just because your lover betrayed you!? This is just plain disappointing!"

"Kazuki."

Otonashi-san did not even deign to look at Miyazaki-kun, who is still laughing. Otonashi-san was gazing at me all this time.

"Is this true? Have you really surrendered to [Yuuhei Ishihara] like he says?"

"......I have!" I cry out.

When she hears this, Otonashi-san looks down, hiding her face, and starts to tremble.

"Whoa, wait a sec! Why are you trembling? Don't tell me you started crying! Oi, oi, don't overact! Honestly, stop it, this is just too hilarious!!"

Miyazaki-kun continues to laugh in response to her overreaction.

"Ah right, Otonashi. I'll tell you something good! This guy is without doubt [Kazuki Hoshino]. He's not [Yuuhei Ishihara]. The guy that betrayed and handcuffed you is definitely [Kazuki Hoshino]!"

"......I know," she answers, head hanging low.

"What?"

"I'm perfectly aware that he is [Kazuki Hoshino] and not someone else."

Otonashi-san stands up, but she's still looking downward. I still can't see her face. She approaches me while swaying back and forth. I instinctively step backward because of her odd behavior; after all, she's approaching me even though I'm holding a knife and she's restrained by handcuffs. I step back even further and bump into the wall.

She pounds the wall above me with her still-restrained hands while I avert my eyes.

"Kazuki, did you really surrender to a bunch of people like them?" She says in a deep, monotone voice. I shrug my shoulders and peek carefully at her.

She slowly raises her head.

Ah, I see... she was trembling out of anger.

"You, the only person to defeat me since I became a box, surrendered to a halfhearted and weak group of people? Are you trying to insult me...? You want to tell me that I'm lower than that lame group of losers, huh...!"

Her initially suppressed voice steadily grows louder.

"Don't mess around with me, honestly, don't mess around with me! Don't say such utter nonsense! There's no way your will would be broken so easily by such a bunch of...!!"

She swings her restrained hands down again. I reflexively close my eyes. The wall clangs, and I hear a loud sound coming from above my head. I slowly open my eyes and find her snarling face, reddened in vexation, right in front of mine.

"O-oi! What's wrong, Otonashi? Has the shock of his betrayal driven you insane?"

"You be quiet," she spits out, gaze still fixed on me.

"...I felt that something was wrong since I got your call. But I was convinced that you'd never cooperate with them. That's why I believed Miyazaki's words. Yet, you're acting like this... Sh*t! This is just bullsh*t!"

Otonashi-san looks down at my knife as if she'd just noticed it, and sneers even harder with an amazed expression on her face.

"...What's with this kitchen knife? Will you stab me when I don't obey you? Haha, very funny. Go ahead, stab me! I'm totally open. Come on! Come on come on! As if you could!"

"Uuh..."

I instinctively lower the knife.

"Say it. Why did you do it. —Say it!"

I hang my head and say, while grinding my teeth at my wretchedness, "Luu-cha—my sister was taken hostage. I had no other choice but to obey them."

"Because of such a trifle..."

"This is not a trifle! Luu-chan is my sole—"

"You are a man who was prepared to transform the girl you loved into a squashed body."

I hold my breath.

"Wait a sec, Otonashi!"

Otonashi-san unwillingly turns toward Miyazaki-kun.

"What? Can't you see that we're busy?"

"No, you see, shouldn't you deny that he's [Kazuki Hoshino] because of what he's done to you? Why are you convinced that he's [Kazuki Hoshino]?"

Right, Miyazaki-kun cannot ignore this. His goal from the very beginning was to make her mix up [Kazuki Hoshino] and [Yuuhei Ishihara].

"You say some strange things, you know? Kazuki is Kazuki of course. There's no way this would change."

"How on earth can you distinguish them!? ...ah, I see. You're just trying to rationalize his betrayal. Because you believed that the voice that appealed to you for help belonged to [Kazuki Hoshino], you're maintaining your mistake so you don't have to doubt him."

"I knew that voice belonged to [Yuuhei Ishihara]."

Miyazaki-kun frowns.

"Don't lie! Do you mean you recognized that it was a recording?"

"No."

"So how on earth would you realize that it's not [Kazuki Hoshino]!?"

"Of course I would realize that."

She speaks as if she's just stating a fact.

"Kazuki would never call me 'Aya' when seeking my help."

"—Ah."

I remember.

I remember the name I called out in the music room when everyone else abandoned me, after Daiya pinned me down and hit me.

She's exactly right! I could never call her 'Aya' when seriously seeking help. I mean, that's the name of the person I once fought against.

"...So tell me, why did you come to save him?"

"If you were telling the truth, saving [Yuuhei Ishihara] would be equivalent to saving Kazuki."

"...Wait a sec. Wouldn't that imply that you're treating Kazuki Hoshino as [Yuuhei Ishihara] right now?"

"Well, I did initially. But I knew that he's actually [Kazuki Hoshino] after a single glance."

"......Oi, oi! You're totally lying now. In fact, you weren't able to distinguish them until now!"

"My only issue had to do with the timing of the shift. I just need to observe the movements of his facial muscles for about three seconds to see the difference. I can now recognize Kazuki as Kazuki."

She can recognize that I'm me?

Even though no one else could?

"...Such a thing is impossible! Don't fuck with me!"

"You're not totally wrong. If it were anyone but Kazuki, I'd probably be unable to distinguish them. But for Kazuki alone, it is indeed possible."

"Why?!"

She then says—

"Because I have been together with Kazuki longer than anyone else in the entire world."

The words I had grown familiar with, somewhere, at some point.

"Ah—"

A sound involuntarily escapes from my throat. I put my hand on her shoulder. She turns around to face me in astonishment.

Seeing me act this way, Miyazaki-kun frowns and says:

"What's the matter, Hoshino? You aren't going to remove her handcuffs just because of this clichéd nonsense, right? You know what will happen to your sister if you do, right?"

For some reason, his threat no longer works on me anymore.

"Umm, Otonashi-san."

If I say it, I won't be able to turn back anymore. But I have already made my decision, even though I wavered before.

"Let me touch your box."

The astonishment fades from her face.

"You don't even need to ask. I couldn't hinder you even if I wanted to because of these handcuffs."

She says this despite having pounded her hands against the wall without fear of a knife.

She continues speaking with a slightly embarrassed smile.

"...you just have to touch it arbitrarily."

She bluntly gives me permission to do so.

I nod lightly and press my open palm against her chest.

"—Ah."

I sink to the bottom of the sea. This is the second time I'm here. It's an unchanging scene in which everyone seems happy. However, it's just a lie that everyone here is happy. A single person is crying, surrounded by happy people. It's someone who knows that this bliss is just a lie and cannot join them in their laughter. I have heard this person crying before.

It's grueling.

There's no oxygen, so I cannot stay here forever.

Is that why it's grueling?

Or is it because I know that I can't cure her pain?

Because I know that I cannot do anything to combat her utter solitude?

I feel tears run down my cheeks, just like I did within a certain box once before.

"—I'm sorry."

I recall everything about her.

Why did I think she was merely using me as bait for O? Why did I think she was just making light of my everyday life?

There's no way she—who puts everyone else first—would do anything like that.

She believed that I would be able to fight against the Sevennight in Mud even if alone. That's why she didn't seek to contact me after I rejected her.

But I was unable to believe in her and... betrayed her.

"I'm sorry."

I said it again. She averts her eyes, seeming to feel somewhat awkward.

"...No, I might have not considered things thoroughly enough. I had unreasonably high hopes for you, without considering that you forgot so much of what happened inside the Rejecting Classroom... maybe. ......Umm, I just realized this, so please forgive me."

I shake my head. She sneaks a peek at me via a side-glance.

"I'll tell you something I didn't tell you before because I thought you'd grasp it on your own. Kazuki, your everyday life won't return. However—"

She glances at me head-on, relaxes the corners of her mouth slightly and says:

"—We can regain your everyday life."

Aah—

With those words, I won't ever get confused about my place in life again.

I am... me.

I am—Kazuki Hoshino.

I take the keys out from my pocket. I insert them into the lock on her handcuffs.

"...what are you doing, Hoshino!? You're abandoning your sister's life just to be fancied by your lover?! You really are horrible..."

"No. It's true that I made my decision. But it's not like I abandoned my older sister."

"So what? If you don't obey me, Luka Hoshino is going to get killed!"

"She won't."

"How can you say that?!"

"It's simple."

This isn't some sort of bluff; I'm just announcing my intentions.

"Because I won't let you."

I don't need to obey them anymore. I don't need to restrict myself to the choices they prepared for me.

Because I can't lose anymore, now that she has become my ally.

I made the decision to entrust everything to her.

I turn the keys. The handcuffs open and fall to the ground. I grasp her newly freed hands. She looks at me, and I look back at her.

"Please, lend me a hand—"

I won't make that mistake again.

I won't call her by the wrong name anymore.

"—Maria."

When I say that, she—really, just for a split second—

She smiles, innocently, like a normal girl her age.

"There are conditions."

She speaks in her usual, dignified tone once more.

"Saying this explicitly may be unnecessary. I believe that you will fulfill this condition anyway. However, I, too, can feel anxiety and it really hurt me. So please let me say it."

I nod lightly, without knowing what she intends to say

"I won't lose sight of you. So, please. You, too,—"

Maria briefly averts her gaze. Then she looks at me once more and clearly says:

"—don't lose sight of me anymore."

Aah... I see.

I didn't notice at all until now.

I isolated myself pointlessly, but I wasn't the only one who had to suffer as a result. I also left Maria all alone and made her suffer.

Ever since the Rejecting Classroom, Maria was always [Aya Otonashi]. She is trying to be her box itself. Her real self, [Maria Otonashi], is nowhere to be found.

"I am Aya Otonashi. Pleased to meet you."

"But I am not strong."

I recall the one time when she faintly lamented her fate.

Right, I am the only one who can call her 'Maria', because I am the only one who truly bore witness to her first school transfer.

If I forget, [Maria Otonashi] will truly be forgotten by everyone—probably even by herself—and vanish.

"Stop it already!"

Upon hearing his voice, I let go of Maria's hand.

"Isn't this ridiculous? Whether you collude or not, it doesn't change anything! Kazuki Hoshino will be taken over and his sister Luka, will be killed. Or do you perhaps think you could just prance off into your imaginary world?"

Miyazaki-kun sneers at us.

"You cannot win! After all, [Yuuhei Ishihara] has killed himself. You can't possibly find a dead guy! Of course, you can't destroy the box either. How will you solve this problem? Come on, tell me!"

He is... right.

The owner, Miyazaki-kun's younger brother, isn't here anymore. We can't do anything in the face of this fact.

"......I know already who [Yuuhei Ishihara] really is."

After hearing Maria's words, Miyazaki-kun opens his eyes wide for a second, but then he sees her depressed expression and smirks instead.

"So? Did you find him?"

"...No. I searched all day long, but didn't find him."

"Fufu, well, that's understandable. You can't possibly find a dead person after all!" Miyazaki-kun proclaims triumphantly.

......Oh?

What is this strange feeling? I feel like something's terribly wrong with Miyazaki-kun's delight. What...?

"It's too late—got it? I can't protect the person I want to protect anymore."

That's what he said. He's helping to complete the Sevennight in Mud because it's the only way to protect "himself." Because his 'younger brother' who was of utmost importance to him had died.

I see.

"—That's a lie."

When I murmur this, Miyazaki-kun turns around to me right away.

"You said that he's dead, but that's a lie. It's obvious if you think about it. You'd never do such a thing, nor would you allow it."

"......What are you babbling about, Hoshino? Don't try to twist my words in your favor!"

"He was important to you, wasn't he?"

Miyazaki-kun frowns in response to this unexpected question, but he acknowledges it.

"Yeah."

"So you would never laugh about his death, right?"

Of course, I just thought that his laughter was unnatural, so it doesn't really count as evidence. Hence, if Miyazaki-kun evades my question with composure, he could deceive me once more.

But—

"Therefore, he's not dead yet, is he?"

But Miyazaki-kun cannot counter my question. He lets his head hang low.

"A lie yields hope when you realize that it's a lie."

I recite this line that he once said to me. I continue speaking once he raises his head.

"You were right."

He opens his eyes wide and opens his mouth. I look silently at him, but he clenches his fist, grinds his teeth and scowls at me.

"—Sh...it...!"

However, he's unable to do anything and drops his gaze.

He starts walking unsteadily past us. He stretches his hands out toward the desk and picks up the cell phone.

He wordlessly uses the phone, presses it against his ear and listens to something.

"I didn't make it in time."

It's a murmur that sounds as if he were speaking to himself.

"I didn't make it in time. I was taking a bath when he called me. Thus, it was already too late when I noticed this voicemail."

I guess he's listening to that voicemail.

"I should have been able to save him before it happened. If I had noticed his pain earlier, I could have averted it. And yet, I was intoxicated by my own unhappiness and failed to hear his scream for help, although he was supposed to be my most important person. This is the outcome."

As he says this, he opens the top drawer of the desk.

"I know it's already too late. I know I can't make it in time anymore. But you know what? He's still screaming! I don't want to... hear this scream anymore."

He inserts his hand into the drawer.

"I will stop his tears. I'll bear any sin and any punishment to do that. I have that much resolve! If you have any complaints, just voice them now!!"

"Of course we have some," Maria declares.

"You stopped thinking. You haven't chosen anything. You're just trying to cover your ears because you don't want to hear this scream. You're just reveling in the pain of fighting meaninglessly against us."

She dropped her gaze briefly, but then spits out her next few words: "You cannot revoke the past by doing this."

".........So, what?" He hangs his head and whispers. "Can you undo this outcome overflowing with corpses? That's not possible. I cannot create a bright future, no matter how hard I struggle. So I want to at least grant him what he wishes for. That's all. So—"

He takes his hand out of the drawer.

"—let yourself be obediently imprisoned already!"

He takes out a stun gun and rushes toward Maria.

"Maria!!"

Maria grabs his outstretched right hand quickly and twists it. Miyazaki-kun cries out faintly and drops the stun gun.

"Ugh—"

I pick up the stun gun. Maria is able to restrain him, but she won't use any more violence than necessary. Therefore, it's my turn.

I accept his scowl without averting my eyes. I won't back off. If he directs his enmity at me, I have to follow suit.

"Sorry."

I press the stun gun against his neck.

Miyazaki-kun moans and collapses right away.

"...Kazuki, let's leave this room."

"Okay."

But just before I'm about to leave the room, something grabs my right leg.

"—!"

I hurriedly turn around. Miyazaki-kun has grabbed my right leg from his collapsed state, but with so little strength that I could easily shake him off.

He raises his head.

"......Sorry."

What...?

"Sorry for not making it in time. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to save you in time. I'll get stronger... I'll get stronger for both of us... so please, give me just one more chance...!"

Aah, no.

This terribly powerful entreaty isn't directed at me.

I bite my lip and lift my right leg. It's easy to shake off his hand.

Then I press the stun gun against Miyazaki-kun's back.

"......You have no hope anymore."

Because I'm going to destroy this wish.

I turn on the stun gun. His head falls silently and stops moving.

—Sorry.

I'm sure he meant to say it to [him].

But maybe, this apology was also directed at [me]... I suddenly think.

I step over Miyazaki-kun and picked up his cell phone.

"Kazuki, what are you doing?"

I play the voice-mail.

"...save... me..... Please, Nii-san, save me....!"

And I finally grasp [Yuuhei Ishihara]'s identity.

Note: Kesa-Gatame (袈裟固?) is one of the seven mat holds, Osaekomi-waza, of Kodokan Judo. In grappling terms, it is categorized as a side control hold. See Wikipedia for more details.

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