Published at 26th of March 2019 12:07 am

Volume 2, Part 7

May 4th

May 4th (Monday) 07:49

I notice that I'm lying on the floor on top of a futon. I've been restrained with handcuffs and footcuffs. I'm still dazed and confused.

The anguish I feel is indistinguishable from dream or reality.

I feel like I'm sinking into a bottomless swamp.

I struggle and struggle to no avail, sink deeper and deeper, and in the end forget why I'm even struggling. I even lose my ability to struggle. I just sink deeper into the mud. My body gets filled with mud. I turn into mud. My inside and my outside are all just mud now. I lose all sense of my own shape since I've completely faded.

I cannot see myself anymore.

......I, huh.

[Note: Japanese has several ways to say 'I'. He's referring to 'Boku']

When I first entered this body, I deliberately referred to myself like this, but by now I do so completely naturally. I don't think I'm getting used to it, so much as my mind is getting dragged along by Kazuki Hoshino's body.

That's why I'm able to believe that I can become Kazuki Hoshino—because this body is transforming how I think.

I finally wake and sit up. I recognize where I am because of the peppermint fragrance. It's not where I should be—Ryuu Miyazaki's apartment—but rather, Maria Otonashi's room.

I hear the weak breathing of someone sleeping. I look toward the bed and see that Maria Otonashi is turned toward me. For once, her expression isn't strained. Her face looks like that of a sleeping girl my age....Wait a sec, she's actually the same age as I am.

"Why are you staring at me?"

Her innocent expression instantly disappears.

"You look cute when you sleep, Otonashi-san."

"So you're [Yuuhei Ishihara]."

She saw through me right away, even though the stretch of time between 07:00 and 08:00 belonged to [Kazuki Hoshino] until yesterday.

Maria Otonashi raises her upper body and peeks into my eyes.

"I'm afraid you're alive."

"......Hah?"

I don't know how to react to such a non sequitur.

"I'm telling you that the owner is still alive."

I still can't immediately understand what she's saying. But I slowly realize that she just made an outrageous statement.

What on earth...?

I still have trouble following along and just stare at Maria Otonashi's face. She looks scornfully at my dumbfounded face, and stands up.

"Well, I think it's time to go. I don't have time for idle chit-chat."

She takes a jacket out of the closet and puts it on.

"Where are you going...?"

"How foolish. I'm going to search for the owner. What else would I be doing?"

If the owner is alive, then this is a reasonable response. She opens the door and leaves without a second glance.

Huh? What does this mean? What on earth happened?

Did our strategy yesterday fail? How else could I end up in this situation?

I need to figure out what happened.

I search for my cell phone in order to call Ryuu Miyazaki. I see Kazuki Hoshino's cell phone lying on the table. As I reach out for it—

"—!"

The cell phone suddenly rings—the timing is so inopportune that I cringe in fear.

The clock indicates that it just turned 8:00AM. 8:00AM has been my time since yesterday. Surely, Ryuu Miyazaki waited to make a call right after my time started.

I pick up the phone and look at the caller ID.

"......Eh?"

It's not the number I expected. This number is surely... —No, this can't be! That person would never call me!

But then, who is it?

My fingers are trembling faintly, but I ignore them and press the Talk button.

"......Hello?"

"......"

The caller remains silent.

"Hello? ...Who is it?"

"Riko Asami."

"Wha—"

I'm speechless.

"Why are you so surprised?"

"Y-You—"

"Did you think I was dead? Did you think I was murdered? Bad luck, huh. We're having a conversation now.

It's definitely Riko Asami's voice.

"This is impossible! You can't be alive! Ryuu Miyazaki should have killed you!"

"...hu, huhu, I already know this, but you can only see yourself. How foolish. Don't you get it? That person would never be able to kill me.

Ryuu Miyazaki cannot kill Riko Asami? ...I can't believe it. Riko Asami should be an eyesore for Ryuu Miyazaki as well.

"You're a fool to consider killing someone without getting your own hands dirty. You're a piece of trash that no one can look at. Why can't you burn in an incinerator like trash is supposed to?"

Riko Asami took advantage of my confusion to mock me.

I finally accept the fact that she's not dead and notice something.

"...why are you speaking that way?"

"The way I speak?"

"You're speaking almost like—"

"Almost like I did in the past? Like I did before starting to pretend to be tough? Like when I was all morbid and able to just endure? ...I'm surprised you can say that..."

Riko Asami laughs dryly and continues.

"...When you haven't changed yourself."

She says I haven't changed? Even though I've worked so hard all the time? I, who admired Maria Otonashi and recreated myself? The one who is going to become Kazuki Hoshino? ...I haven't changed!?

Don't screw with me! Especially since you're just Riko Asami!

"...Don't mess with me! Did you just call to pester me or something?"

Upon perceiving my enmity, she, who used to be so timid, says:

"Yes!

"...Eh?"

"You know? I can't forgive someone like you who's trying to take over someone else's body. ...Honestly, what the hell? You should know your place. You ought to drop dead. Therefore—"

Riko Asami says emotionlessly.

"—I think I'll crush this box."

"What... are you saying...?"

"You know I'm able to, right? After all, I, Riko Asami, am the owner."

I'm speechless; unable to talk back to her, I stay silent. My hands are trembling.

Riko Asami giggles silently and says to me.

[Note: Now 'Atashi' was used as 'I'. This is used by girls.]

"Don't even think about getting saved alone! Okay, [Riko Asami]-san?"

[Note: You got it. The owner's Riko Asami. However, in the story she was always referred to with 'he'. That is because it wasn't possible to address her neutrally in English.]

May 4th (Monday) 10:01

"...save... me..... Please, Nii-san, save me....!"

That scream for help came from Riko Asami.

Come to think of it, Miyazaki-kun mentioned 'siblings', but never said 'younger brother'. I assumed she was a boy because she spoke with my (male) voice and also called herself 'Yuuhei Ishihara'. Miyazaki-kun naturally wouldn't correct me, I guess.

But I never would have imagined that Asami-san was Miyazaki-kun's younger sister. After all, they have different last names, and I have never heard any rumors about such a relationship. Despite visiting our classroom every day, she didn't give anything away. I suppose they were deliberately concealing their sibling relationship because of their messed up family situation.

Perhaps she came to our classroom to see Miyazaki-kun, in addition to seeing Maria.

I ask Maria, who had returned before I switched back to [me], as she removes my handcuffs: "Since when did you know [Yuuhei Ishihara] was a girl?"

"Mh, I had a strong suspicion that [Yuuhei Ishihara] might be a girl when we entered the girl's bathroom together."

"......so [Riko Asami] entered the girl's bathroom using my body, right?"

"Why do you need to ask such an obvious question," she says in amazement. ...Um, shouldn't I be the one amazed by you?

"I grasped her true identity after doing some more research. Most of Miyazaki's prior classmates during his middle school time knew of his blood relationship with Asami. I then discovered the corpses at her home and became confident that Riko Asami was theowner."

Maria saw those corpses, too...

She finishes removing my handcuffs and sighs.

"But just where is she...?"

Maria tells me that she had been searching for Asami-san after independently discovering that Asami-san's the owner, but she could find any trace of Asami-san.

Maria crouches down, looks for something under the bed and tears something off.

"What are you doing?"

"I installed an IC-Recorder under the bed. I thought that Miyazaki or someone might call her and leak something we don't know yet."

Maria presses the play button on the recorder. She searchs for [Riko Asami]'s comments by repeatedly pressing the 'fast forward' button.

"......hello?"

Her voice makes a loud sound

"...she made a phone call!"

"Yeah."

The voice of the other party was almost inaudible, but it seemed like a girl's voice. At the very least, it wasn't Miyazaki-kun.

I tried checking my cell phone history. I guess the call log has been cleared, since there aren't any new entries.

It seems as if they were quarreling.

Maria connects the recorder to her notebook, downloads the sound file and starts listening to it over headphones. I guess she's trying to hear all the details.

Maria frowns so hard it almost scares me.

After a while, she holds out the headphones. I nod and put them on.

"Hello? ...Who is it?"

"Riko Asami."

I start to doubt my own ears.

I listen for a while, but have more and more doubts. Is this really Asami-san? She's not speaking like the Asami-san I know. Asami-san doesn't usually speak in such a calm and subdued fashion. The personality of the Riko Asami I know is the same as the one of [Yuuhei Ishihara]—no, [Riko Asami].

But that reminds me, Asami-san started acting strange since April 30th. Right, she somehow gave off dismal vibes. So her odd attitude wasn't necessarily the result of Maria making me a boxed lunch. Come to think of it, the Sevennight in Mud had already started at that time.

Asami-san acted like her former self. —Why?

"Don't think about getting saved alone! Okay, [Riko Asami]-san?"

I perk up my ears and focus on the rest of their conversation.

May 4th (Monday) 11:02

I recall my phone conversation with Riko Asami.

"Don't think about getting saved alone! Okay, [Riko Asami]-san?"

I flinched for a moment from her ill-will, but pulled myself together and objected.

"...And how do you plan to take the box out? Do you know how to, or what?"

"I don't know. But I'm still able to destroy it."

I lost my ability to speak when I heard how plainly she said that.

"I want to escape. I also want to erase you because I hate you. I'm able to do both at the same time. You know what I mean, don't you? For this method I just need—"

Riko Asami says, in her barely perceptible voice.

"—to commit suicide before the box is completed."

I had already heard those words before.

Aah, I see. Those were the same words I once sent to Kazuki Hoshino.

"Don't tell me you really thought you could take over Kazuki Hoshino's body? I'm so sorry, but that's impossible! It's impossible that you could ever win against someone, that you could ever attain happiness! After all you are me. Riko Asami. You should know your place. You should die. Someone like you should definitely die."

Like Riko Asami used to, she cursed with a small voice that was almost imperceptible.

"You ought to die by hanging that would cause you to void your bowels so everyone would need to hold their nose. You ought to die by jumping off a roof so you would bother passers-by with your scattered-about brains. You ought to die by jumping in front of a train, annoying the passengers by splashing your innards all over the platform... that would suit you. Tell me, what do you think?"

Riko Asami asked me.

"Which manner of death would you like for Riko Asami?"

She asked me to determine her own method of suicide.

I understood. When the owner, Riko Asami, dies, I would inevitably vanish.

I was completely cornered.

"......Stop it!"

I conveyed my panic with those short words, which caused Riko Asami to rejoice.

"What should I stop? My plans to kill myself? Why? Didn't you try to kill me?"

"T-That was because... I hadn't noticed that I would vanish if you died."

"Hihaha, don't be silly! Did you think you haven't vanished yet? Brilliant. This is just too brilliant. ...did you perhaps seriously think you could become Kazuki Hoshino?"

"I can! If you don't hinder me, I can become Kazuki Hoshino! And then I will steal his happiness!"

"Aha. It doesn't matter, though. After all I'll commit suicide anyway."

"Didn't I tell you to stop it!?"

"Why should I listen to you? I'm your enemy, you know?"

"Enemy?"

"Yes, enemy. You should know that your self, especially your former self, is your enemy."

"Stop joking with me! Though I could become Kazuki Hoshino if it weren't for you, why are you doing this?! Horrible! You really are horrible!"

Upon hearing those words, Riko Asami started to giggle joyfully.

"What's so funny?!"

"'Horrible,' huh!"

Riko Asami spoke while giggling.

"Don't overdo the self-loathing, okay?"

That was my conversation with Riko Asami.

"Uh, ghu—"

I hold my chest in response to the nausea that wells up.

Gross. Why, why... Why did I have to talk with Riko Asami...? Ryuu Miyazaki told me he had killed her, so was he lying to me?

"......I'll get killed."

This was no ideal threat. I know that because I know Riko Asami better than anyone else does. She hates herself more than anyone else, and would never accept the completion of this box.

She will probably crush the box on the night of May 5th.

Because she wants to wear me out by making me wait right down to the wire.

To avert this, we had to kill Riko Asami. ...But even if Ryuu Miyazaki had killed her, I would have vanished because of the destruction of the box.

So what? Does this mean I'm destined to vanish, no matter how hard I try to fight back?

"......What should—"

I'm cornered. I'm trapped by Maria Otonashi, cannot make contact with Ryuu Miyazaki, and am about to get erased by Riko Asami.

Why did it turn out like this...! The gradual takeover was originally intended to corner Kazuki Hoshino!

"What should I do—"

......Wait a moment. I recall my own mutterings. What did I just say?

I?

[Note: She got, as mentioned above, used to calling herself "Boku". But now Riko just called herself "Atashi" which is used mainly by women.]

Didn't I stop talking about myself this way when I started taking over this body? Didn't I naturally stop using that construction?

Don't tell me I started being self-aware?

Self-aware of being 'Riko Asami'?

No, nononononono! I am not 'Riko Asami'! I am no one, a fabrication, that will eventually become Kazuki Hoshino—

"To think you could escape from your own deed just by doing this; I find this childish side of you terribly adorable."

What is this voice?

A terribly charming voice I had already heard once before, enters my body.

No. That's not true. I can—escape from Riko Asami.

And still,

"Ah, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH"

A flood of memories enters my mind all at once. Memories that should have been forgotten when I entered this body spring to mind. Though I can't process them all at once, they unavoidably push into my consciousness.

What I see is the scene of the first time Yuuhei Ishihara used violence against Riko Asami.

The 13-aged Riko Asami was bawling, frightened of this brute with a crimson face.

Aah, yes. That's how it started. His first act of violence was in response to Riko Asami's anger. The 13-aged Riko Asami hated him because he wasn't her real father, considered him an enemy, so she expressed her ill will. Yuuhei Ishihara couldn't bear this in the end, and thus struck out against her.

This was the trigger for an everyday life filled with violence. Well, that was probably because the undesired problem child became silent and obedient when violence was used. So violence against Riko Asami became an effective and pleasant method for that brute.

It was equally agreeable for the mother who was greatly embarrassed by Riko Asami's temper. Riko Asami had been trying to destroy this family, and thus had gotten out of control. This was a problem that had bothered that old bat the whole time.

Morals evolve in response to the surrounding environment. Riko Asami's opposition to the violence and her family slowly started to disappear. Everyone, including Riko Asami herself, stopped questioning this violence.

They stopped questioning the violence, but this didn't change the fact that Riko Asami's heart continued to be torn up.

Riko Asami heard the sound of her heart being ripped up a countless number of times. This was not a powerful sound, but a modest one—as if someone threw a small stone into a pond. At first she only thought "Aah, it tore up again" when she had heard this sound, but after a while she noticed that she lacked something important.

This man's violence was inferior to that of a true brute, and was so common as to be of little interest to any outsiders. It would get described as "ill-treatment" or some other simple word. This single word would probably give one the feeling of comprehension.

Therefore, Riko Asami did not identify this as violence.

The gaps within Riko Asami's broken heart were closed by violence. This meant that Riko Asami would accept this violence when she stopped hating herself.

Hence, Riko Asami doesn't admit her own existence.

The next thing I saw was a scene from our high school entrance ceremony.

Maria Otonashi—who stood at the platform as the top student.

Riko Asami saw her and drowned. Just by looking at Maria Otonashi and hearing her voice, Riko Asami became unable to breathe and crouched down painfully.

This is a thing.

The ultimate tool.

She looked like some master craftsman's life work. She possessed so much direction and intent, she seemed like a work of art. She was that absurd an existence.

Riko Asami started to cry without noticing.

This is it. This is what she needed to escape from herself. She needed to make a perfect fake self, as Maria Otonashi had.

Riko Asami started to cut herself loose. She threw her gloomy self away and created a neutral and strong self. But she didn't do so as well as Maria Otonashi had. The more Riko Asami came to know her, the more she realized that it would not be possible to imitate her. Maria Otonashi was able to create a perfect self because she's an exceptional being. No one else would ever be able to imitate that feat.

Maria Otonashi is definitely—not human.

At last I saw the scene from 'April 28th'.

The day Riko Asami obtained the box.

Riko Asami was holding a worn-out plush bunny in her hands. Blood had been splashed on this plush toy that was missing an ear. Once upon a time, her brother had won that toy for her from a crane game.

There were two corpses.

Her brother was caught in a puddle of red liquid and screaming.

Riko Asami was completely broken by Yuuhei Ishihara.

There was nothing in this house that was not broken.

Everything had ended. Everything of Riko Asami's had been trampled down, and had been destroyed once and for all.

I was crying.

The illusion disappeared finally, washed away by my tears.

"......something, something like this..."

I must not admit this. I absolutely must not admit to being Riko Asami!

—therefore, I will become Kazuki Hoshino.

I won't forgive [Kazuki Hoshino]. I won't forgive him, someone who blathers about everyday life being happiness, and all the people who don't even realize that they can only laugh because they're stealing someone else's happiness.

I'll have the last laugh. I'll inflict it upon [Kazuki Hoshino], who doesn't even try to comprehend my misfortune.

I'll use you. Maria Otonashi doesn't mix me and [Kazuki Hoshino] up anymore. So I cannot deceive her anymore. So I just need to use the original one. I'll threaten [Kazuki Hoshino], make him obey me and deceive her.

He shall call forth his own ruin and fall into despair. He shall become unable to call everyday life happiness.

I take Kazuki Hoshino's phone and make a voice recording.

"[Kazuki Hoshino], I'll kill your entire family. I'll massacre them brutally. I'll cut them up and kill them so brutally that you won't be able to recognize the corpses anymore. So you better do what I say. If you do, I'll spare them depending on my mood. Absolutely don't allow Maria Otonashi to hear this message. Okay then, these are my instructions—"

May 4th (Monday) 12:06

"—I'll kill you. And then I'll become Kazuki Hoshino. And again, don't say anything to Maria Otonashi!"

Having heard this, Maria murmurs "...how foolish" and frowns.

"After getting cornered, she completely lost track of her position. There's no way I wouldn't listen to this message in such a situation."

Various insults and "Deceive Maria Otonashi and slip out of captivity!" are in the voice file.

I'm not frightened by her threats. No matter how hard [Riko Asami] tries to push me, now that we're working together, it's impossible for her to commit murder with this body.

Her attitude is just pitiable.

Maria, whose lips are pursed, surely holds the same opinion.

Maria had researched Riko Asami's background yesterday and the day before yesterday. While mostly just rumors, what she heard still sounded awful.

Furthermore—those corpses, mistakes that cannot be undone, do in fact exist.

As long she doesn't complete the Sevennight in Mud, a hopeless future awaits 'Asami-san'.

That's why she cannot bear it anymore.

"......Oh?"

"Why are you suddenly making a dumb sound?"

"No, I was just a little confused. Uum, Asami-san and [Riko Asami] spoke with each other, which means both of them exist separately, right? ...Is that even possible?"

"This just means that Asami had some degree of common-sense. She was trying to take over your body, but could not fully believe that that could happen. That's why things are as they are."

"...So, the 'Asami-san' that's the owner is the real one...?"

"It's not about real and fake. But 'Asami' continued to suffer even when [Riko Asami] was brought forth by the Sevennight in Mud."

'Asami-san' could not escape even after obtaining the Sevennight in Mud. Since she was abandoned, she's planning to commit suicide—taking [Riko Asami] with her.

"We absolutely must prevent her suicide. That's another reason to find Asami. But where on earth is she? ...Damn it, there's only one day left!"

Maria is obviously nervous.

Maria puts everyone else first. Asami-san dies and the Sevennight in Mud ends—she cannot allow an outcome like that.

"......Maria, how about using this threat?"

Maria frowns and looks at me.

"What do you mean?"

"...Ah well, I just had an idea. I was thinking that things might progress if we purposefully respond to the threat and let [Riko Asami] act..."

"Sure enough, we might be stuck otherwise."

Maria crosses her arms while pondering our options.

"Let's assume that we respond to the threat and set [Riko Asami] free. Then... right, I suppose she would visit Ryuu Miyazaki."

"Yeah, I think so, too."

"—Wait. Maybe Miyazaki knows about Asami's whereabouts anyway?"

"...I don't think so. If he knew, he would never support completing the Sevennight in Mud."

"You have a point... but then again, he told us that we will never find Asami. So that statement would lose its basis. ...Did Miyazaki misunderstand anything...?"

Maria frowns and ponders some more.

"...It doesn't help to think about it. For now, let's just assume that Miyazaki doesn't know about Asami's present condition."

I nodded.

"But is there any point to letting [Riko Asami] act on her own? We don't need [Riko Asami], you know—we need the Asami who's the owner, right?"

"...err, I think there is a point. Based on what we heard through the IC-Recorder, I think [Riko Asami] knows how to reach 'Asami-san'."

"Cooperate with [Riko Asami] and let them come into contact, huh? That's impossible. It's hardly believable that a girl who makes such threats would live up to your expectations."

...That's certainly true.

"Or do you plan to break her heart, cause her to surrender and make her obey you forcefully?" Maria laughs faintly and says this in a joking fashion.

My response to her joke: "Good idea."

Her expression stiffens up.

But I'm equally surprised by the coldness of my words.

Setting that aside, I came up with an idea. Since I'm in a similar situation as [Riko Asami], I managed to hit upon a method to break her heart and make her obey us.

If we let [Riko Asami] go, she will contact Miyazaki-kun. Her relationship with Miyazaki-kun is like the one I have with Maria.

Therefore—

"We just need to make Ryuu Miyazaki betray [Riko Asami]."

While I say that, I wonder: Can I really do it?

Involving Miyazaki-kun, making [Riko Asami] fall into despair and destroying the Sevennight in Mud. This means that Asami-san is going to return to her original state, the one that caused an outcome that cannot be averted anymore. I don't think any future happiness awaits her there. What I'm about to do requires sacrificing Asami-san.

...I'll stop pretending to be a good person by acting as if it's a hard decision to make.

In fact, I already made my decision long ago. I decided back when I announced 'I won't permit your existence.' to her, when I started perceiving her as an enemy.

"I will defeat [Riko Asami]." "I won't admit her."

I've gained my determination, but Maria is looking at me with mixed feelings.

"I—"

"......Can you not support me?"

"That's... not it. I know it can't be helped because you would disappear otherwise. However, even so, I cannot accept the inevitable misfortune that awaits Asami," she says and bites her lips.

"Because you can't permit another's misfortune..."

"...That's not all. If that was it, I still might be able to endure it. But you know? I noticed..." she says, while looking down at the ground.

"I noticed that [Riko Asami] and [Aya Otonashi] are the same."

"...the same?"

"......"

Maria doesn't respond to my parroted question.

But I understand thanks to her silence.

Maria, who is trying to be a box, is still [Aya Otonashi], and [Riko Asami], who was created by a box, are similar in that both of them are separated from their original self.

Maria, who says that she's in the same position, knows Asami-san's feelings all too well.

I don't know what's best. I can only tell the silent Maria what I understand.

"But Asami-san isn't wishing for that," I continue. "She doesn't wish for herself to disappear!"

"......Yeah, I know," Maria murmurs and raises her head.

But even so, we cannot change Asami-san's future.

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