Published at 26th of March 2019 12:07 am

Volume 5, Part 10

◇◇◇ Kazuki Hoshino - 09/11 FRI 21:44 ◇◇◇

"So you lost to Oomine-kun again, Kazuki-kun."

After a long time, I begin to recover from my shock and my ears start registering sound once more.

I look around and notice that Iroha-san is looking up at me while sitting and resting her chin on her hands. She's the only other person who's still in this tunnel.

I take a look at my watch. I have been standing motionless for nearly half an hour. The third movie, "Repeat, Reset, Reset," is about to end.

"Hew...," she sighs like a mother waiting patiently for her boy to calm down. "Come on, give me your 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' and become my [servant]. I'll do you the favor of finishing you off."

I still have trouble focusing my thoughts. My vision sways back and forth, making even the graffiti on the walls seem like meaningful art. It hurts to swallow. The fact that my nostrils are in the center of my face irritates me for some reason. I discover dirt under my fingernails and feel strangely embarrassed.

I don't give a sh*t.

I don't give a sh*t about that 'Wish-Crushing Cinema' and those [servants].

Maria.

I have hurt Maria.

I couldn't stop Maria.

She isn't trying to return to being "Maria Otonashi" anymore. She has become "Aya Otonashi" once and for all.

Can I still turn the tables and restore Maria?

I think about it and come to a conclusion:

—It's impossible.

———Impossible.

I have no goal anymore.

"...Say, Iroha-san."

But for some reason, with a vacant look, I pose a question that has been bothering me for a while.

"What?"

"That was a performance to show Maria that I have betrayed her, right?"

Why am I asking this? Sure, this has been bothering me, but right now I have no inner reserves left to worry about that.

"I told you so, didn't I?"

"But still," I continue as if I might find a solution somehow, "you weren't lying when you said that you'll select people who deserve to die, right?"

Her eyes widen, and then the corners of her mouth turn up.

"Of course." Her eyes are dulled with madness. "I will do everything it takes to exterminate those scum!"

Absentmindedly, I think:

...As I thought.

I was right when I thought that Iroha-san can't return to her everyday life anymore.

The goal she spoke about at length before a "Dog Human" was no lie. My claim that she is making a mistake was appropriate after all.

Daiya and Iroha-san will persistently pursue the goals of their mistaken mindset. Even if they realize the error of their ways, they won't be able to turn back anymore, and will be forced to continue until they break. Like Maria will.

Someone has to stop them.

But it's too late for me. I've lost my goal and feel utterly apathetic.

I have given up.

"........."

Given up?

On what? On Maria? I?

Yes. Yes, I have. There is no solution, so I have no other choice.

But actually thinking about giving up causes my body to heat up like crazy, making it feel like it could melt at any moment. My arms and legs feel like they're about to get torn out of their joints. That choice is absolutely forbidden. I must absolutely avoid it.

Besides—

"—Don't fuck with me."

What is this feeling that has welled up within me?

Am I angry? At Iroha-san?

It would make sense. I was deceived by her. She tricked me into showing Maria that I have changed, and caused me to part ways with her. Besides, Iroha-san is trying to get innocent people involved in her mistake.

But that's not it.

This feeling is not directed toward her.

After all, I know that she's not a bad person. Her wish to destroy all of the criminal fools merely happens to be incompatible with my own views. On top of that, I feel that it's not even her fault that she has developed that opinion.

It is true that she honestly pursues her wish.

But it still doesn't make sense to me; has she always felt this way? Did she wish for this even before obtaining the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'?

...Before she received those powers from Daiya?

"I have a question."

"What?"

I look at Iroha-san again. Her blood-stained face shows just a shadow of her former self. Those eyes that used to radiate an appealing strong will have dulled.

That's not an expression a normal person should make. Iroha-san has broken at some point.

When?

"Was it so agonizing that you couldn't withstand the pain?"

"Huh?"

"I'm talking about the moment when you received the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'!"

Yes, it must have been then that she broke.

I suspect she was forced to undergo something when she accepted those powers. No, maybe not only then. Maybe she has to suffer constantly to be able to use her power, judging from what Daiya has had to bear.

"......Why would you ask that?"

That's a clear confirmation of my thoughts.

And now I've realized.

Why has she done that?

The answer:

It was just her suffering and struggle.

When she received the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' she broke completely because she was already weakened due to the 'Game of Idleness'.

Overwhelmed by an assault of negative feelings, she subconsciously groped for a way to vent them. Because without doing so, her heart wouldn't be able to take it.

She found something to vent her frustration on right away.

It was Daiya's fool-hunt idea. Having become unable to believe in others, she leapt on that idea. She tried to turn away from her own wretchedness by eliminating those who she considered scum under the pretense of correcting the world.

Daiya coerced her into doing that.

Daiya sacrificed Iroha-san for his own 'wish'.

So is this feeling that blurs my vision directed at Daiya?

......No.

Daiya is no different than Iroha-san. He has obtained a 'box' to try to pacify his internal torment. I consider him to be a victim as well.

I am angry at him for causing Maria to leave me and for turning Iroha-san into what she is now. But this stubborn feeling is something different.

...Anger?

No. It's similar, but it's not anger. It's nothing as mild as anger.

This unbearable emotion must be—hatred.

Against whom?

Ah.

If it's hatred, then there's only one target.

There is only one being that I would hate so much.

"——'O'."

"You called me?"

I'm not surprised by his arrival.

I expected it.

I look at 'O'.

"What kind of appearance is that?"

A girl so beautiful that she seems to stand above anything and everything has appeared. But because she is too beautiful, she seems unreal and fake, and makes a disagreeable impression on me.

But then why does the following thought cross my mind, when their faces don't even resemble each other's?

That long-haired girl... resembles Maria Otonashi.

"...Could you tell us who you are?" asks Iroha-san.

"Right, we have not had the pleasure. I assumed that you would figure out who I am on your own, but if that's not the case, I'll introduce myself. I am 'O'."

"'O'? You?" she says, and suddenly widens her eyes, as if she has just noticed something, and assumes a defensive posture. "Have you come to support Kazuki-kun or what...?"

"Hehe."

'O' neither negates nor affirms his intent.

"Oomine-kun warned me that you're on Kazuki-kun's side. Have you come to his rescue because he's in a pinch?"

"I have never helped him, but it is true that he has my favor."

"You intend to stand in my way, don't you?!"

'O' ignores her yell and averts her gaze.

"While I can't say this for sure," 'O' addresses me, paying no heed to Iroha-san's increasingly frenetic state.

"...H-Hey!"

"You have drawn my interest because I sensed that you are somewhat different from other humans."

"......tch!"

Iroha-san realizes that she has no role in this conversation and lapses into silence. Apparently, she has judged that there's no use in trying to make herself known to the entity before us.

"But I had no clear idea of why you, and only you, are special, and how we're related. However, by witnessing how you stabbed this girl just now, I was finally able to reach some sort of conviction. Therefore, I'd like to confirm it now."

I wrinkle my brow and scowl at 'O'.

"For that purpose... yes, I guess I'll provide you some insight into my being."

"...What are you talking about...? Do you think that would change anything? There's no way that it could."

"Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that. You might feel much closer to me, who knows?"

"Closer? Don't make me laugh."

"You don't normally encounter a being that grants 'wishes' in the form of such a familiar and concrete figure! Nor can you perceive it this clearly. The entirety of my giant 'self' is nothing but a 'power' that doesn't even possess a will. Then why is it that I am here now as 'O' and possess a will? It's because 'a certain someone' has given shape to the being 'O' through a 'wish'."

"'A certain someone'...?"

What is 'O' talking about? That he was created by someone while also being a supernatural phenomenon?

"Let's try to think of a 'wish' that could achieve that. Right, how about this: 'I want to make everybody's wishes come true'."

"———!!"

Could it be...

Could it be that that "certain someone" is......

Once again, I think about what 'O' is.

He's the distributor of 'boxes' and has lured several people near me into madness and doom. He's a being that grants false 'wishes'.

Therefore—

"I'm sure you have gotten it! That 'certain someone' isn't aware of it herself. She doesn't know that her 'box' works like that. She isn't aware of how she can grant someone else's 'wish'. But it's the truth!"

'O' mirrored what I had been thinking.

"Maria Otonashi's 'Flawed Bliss' is a 'box' that gives life to me, 'O'."

I have been expecting that answer, but still can't help feeling astonished when 'O' tells me face to face.

But I immediately shake my head.

"Nonsense. Maria wouldn't be able to do that."

"Don't misunderstand me: the being that grants 'wishes' has existed even before she first used her 'box'. Otherwise she wouldn't have been able to obtain the 'box' in the first place. She hasn't created me from scratch. What she did was simply give me shape and bring me to her side. Does that still seem impossible to you?"

"I—"

...I think it's possible. I have already seen things that are far more bizarre than that.

"But Maria told me that she has enclosed all of the people who used her 'Flawed Bliss'..."

"Have you ever seen it for yourself?"

"Eh?"

"You just took her word for it, didn't you? The word of an amnesiac who, whenever she lets someone use her 'box', loses all memories of that person and his or her environment."

"......But."

I actually felt it at the time. I touched Maria's chest and experienced the bottomless sorrow of the 'Flawed Bliss'. I caught sight of the people who she had enclosed.

"You seem unconvinced. But remember that you have also touched the 'box' of another 'owner'. Didn't you feel something similar when that happened?"

"Eh...?"

He's right. I did directly touch Mogi-san's 'Rejecting Classroom'.

"I guess you have figured out by yourself, but in reality, you're encountering a mental image that depicts how they perceive their 'box'."

That means that the place at the bottom of the sea I saw when I touched Maria's chest was just...

"What you felt when you touched her was just a mental image. To her, it's true that she has locked all users into her 'box'; after all, that's an important part in how the 'boxes' distort reality. It is not, however, the truth. That scenery merely shows how she is stung with remorse because she could only provide such an incomplete solution to the people she tried to save, even after empathizing with them and so deeply understanding their sorrows. Yes—"

'O' continues, maintaining that graceful countenance.

"Yes—that scenery is only a depiction of her despair."

I recall the place I saw back then.

A theater of sham happiness at the bottom of the cold, yet oh-so-bright sea. Someone was crying somewhere, surrounded and drowned out by unending laughter. It's a lonely battlefield where no one ever wins.

It's Maria's despair.

...Maria.

So in the end, I still want to save her!

"...So I was right," 'O' whispers when he sees my expression.

"What do you mean by that?"

But instead of answering me, 'O' only gazes at me.

Irritated by 'O', I complain about what has been bothering me all along.

"...'O', you are only talking about Maria, but didn't you intend to talk about me?"

"Please have some patience; first things first. But rest assured, we'll get to the point right away... Here's something new I want to confirm. The 'wish' of that 'certain someone' is to make everyone's wishes come true, which is why I, 'O', exist. However, 'boxes' are made to analyze a wish perfectly. Thus, they even grant the user's doubts. So in what form were the doubts of that 'certain someone' granted?"

"...I still have nothing to do with it, do I?"

"Oh, you do."

"Huh?"

"Recall Nana Yanagi, your first love."

That name has appeared so unexpectedly that I get flustered.

"...W-Why, her name just now?"

"Because that 'certain someone' used her 'box' on Nana Yanagi."

"———!!"

"Oh right, you didn't know that. Of course you're surprised. But you wanted me to get to the point already, right? I'm afraid I can't give you any time to calm down."

What a sarcastic monster.

"Well then, I don't know how you feel about it, but to Nana Yanagi you were a savior. You were of more help to her than anyone else, even her boyfriend Touji Kijima. Of course, 'she' who enclosed Nana Yanagi knew that. You made an intensive impression on 'her'. After all, it takes quite a lot to be considered a savior by someone. Therefore, 'she' unconsciously established a new rule inside her: Kazuki Hoshino has the makings of a savior."

"...That makes no sense to me."

"Is that so? But there's more! ...'She' had contradicting desires after seeing such a savior. On one hand, she wanted to grant 'wishes' whatever it takes, but on the other hand, she yearned for someone to stop her."

I've already known that. She told me about her true feelings inside the 'Game of Idleness'.

"The doubts about her 'wish' were compatible with the part of her that wishes for someone to stop her, so they combined. A 'box' grants wishes exactly as they are. In other words, the 'box' also granted her the self-contradictory conviction that a savior will come and crush her own 'wish'."

—What?

After perceiving me as a savior?

Meaning that the savior has received the power to crush 'wishes' from her 'box'?

"Haven't you ever wondered why you were able to retain your memories inside the 'Rejecting Classroom' when you weren't an 'owner'? Why you remained completely unaffected when Iroha Shindou over here stepped on your shadow? Wouldn't it be rather logical to assume that you have been under the influence of the 'Flawed Bliss' all along, and thus could resist the power of these 'boxes'?"

The 'Flawed Bliss' had two powers.

The power to create 'O'.

And the power to create the "savior".

"Her 'box' assigned you the role of a savior. Or should I say..."

"Kazuki Hoshino, you are the knight who must stop Maria Otonashi."

Knight.

I'm... Maria's knight.

I have gained that power from Maria herself?

"———"

I look at the palms of my hands. I close them, I open them. Closed, opened. Rock, paper.

Ah... they're completely normal hands, unreliable and small compared to those of others my age. I feel no special power in them. Yet... I don't know why, but something feels odd. ...No, that's wrong.

It's the opposite.

—The feeling of oddness that’s always lurked at the fringes of my consciousness has just disappeared.

"All right, now why don't you check to see if you really have received a power from the 'Flawed Bliss'?"

"Try out? How?" I ask.

'O' glances at Iroha-san as if he had only just recalled that she's also present, and answers without moving a muscle.

"Destroy her 'box' whether or not she wants you to."

"Wha——?!" Iroha-san exclaims and scowls at me.

You don't have to look like that at me. Why would I follow the instructions of someone like 'O', whom I hate so much? Even if I really had the power to destroy your 'box', I definitely wouldn’t want to do it.

Despite that,

".....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Heh, hehe."

I can't help chuckling.

"Kazuki-kun...?"

Iroha-san contorts her face. But I can't stop laughing.

"Heh, hehe... a, ha, ahahahahaha!"

"...Wha? What's so funny?"

Oh wow, what is this feeling that comes welling up from deep within me?

What is this irrepressible urge?

—I want to test it.

—I want to test this power.

—I want to squash that 'box' that she's holding so dear.

Aah, I no longer feel that there's too little “self” inside me.

It was disgusting. I wondered why I felt that way and where that feeling came from. It was like I was swept along by some external force, like my will was controlled by that same powerful force. I had just experienced that phenomenon: even though I had just fallen into the depths of despair after I deemed it impossible to save Maria, those feelings were somehow swept aside so that I could try to find a solution by questioning Iroha-san.

Finally, I have an explanation.

Everything was set up by Maria.

It was all her fault. She played havoc with my life. Maria's 'box' is the root of all evil. It's her fault that I tried to stab Iroha-san, it's her fault that I was willing to let Mogi-san die as I destroyed her 'box', it's all Maria's fault.

I have been under Maria's control.

"Heh, ha, ahahahahahahahahahaha, HAHA, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!"

And that—feels fucking great.

Because it means that I belong to her in the truest sense of the word. Of course it feels good when that's been my goal all along.

I used to feel guilty about trying to get rid of Aya Otonashi against Maria's will. For one thing, I didn't know whether that was the right thing to do, and for another thing, I didn't want to make her any sadder.

But now I've gotten Maria's permission.

I've obtained the justification to blow Aya to kingdom come.

It's okay for me to go and fulfill this dark desire.

Aah, Maria.

My beloved Maria.

No matter how much you hate me and how much you struggle and cry, I will destroy your 'box'. I will beat it to pulp. I will tear apart the painting you committed yourself to before your eyes. I will destroy it, crush it, devastate it, ravish it, smash it, and dispose of it.

Aah, my heart is pounding with joy. I'm breathing wildly because of the high that I'm on.

Superiority.

Dominion.

Omnipotence.

"...Are you okay, Kazuki-kun?" Iroha-san asks. She's noticed my wild breathing, and that I'm pressing my hand against my chest while squatting.

Yeah, indeed. Before I kill Aya Otonashi, I have to confirm that my power is real.

"W-Whoa... why are you glaring at me?"

And I'll use this 'box'-obsessed girl for that purpose.

—But how do I go about destroying a 'box'?

I try to think logically about possible methods... for an instant, but I doubt that that will get me anywhere. My gut is telling me that I should instead visualize my power.

Thus, I try to form an image in my mind.

I imagine myself as a knight in a blood-stained wasteland. A giant army of armored enemies with all sorts of weapons is standing in my way as far as the eye can reach. I pierce them with my longsword, create a mountain of corpses, and never stop killing even though it gives birth to hatred and resentment.

It's all for the sake of meeting Maria.

In order to rescue her from the castle that she is held captive in, I pile up the corpses to form a mountain of equal height. I climb the wobbling tower of flesh like a stairway in order to reach the trapped Maria.

To save her.

Aah.

"Aah."

I figured it out.

"I figured it out."

There was no sudden inspiration. I merely connected the pieces I've already found. It's like I randomly solved a puzzle ring[3] without even thinking about it. With a feeling like that, I figured out—

—the 'boxes'.

—the right way to use a 'box'.

As soon as you think about how to use a 'box', you can't master it anymore. You have to keep yourself from filling the 'box' with your desires, and just become aware that it exists. All you have to do is realize that the power to grant 'wishes' does exist. We just have to believe in ourselves and aim for a goal.

The 'box' can stay empty. No, it must stay empty.

That's what I realized.

And that's enough. With that knowledge alone, I can obtain the knight's power to crush 'boxes'. I can obtain the tool that grants my wish—

'Utsuro no HakoThe Empty Box.'

"...Okay, let's do it then, shall we?"

I grab Iroha-san's face with my right hand, covering her eyes with my palm, and use my other hand to yank on her arm and pull her to the ground.

"Eh? Uh...?"

I sit down on top of her. Iroha-san looks at me with rounded eyes. Apparently, it’s all happening too quickly for her.

Her slowness is fatal. It's too late already. Her defeat is set in stone.

Without missing a beat, I thrust my hand like a sword into her chest.

"EH? Ah! Gnn! ...Ungh!!"

And I take it out.

I take out the cheap imitation of the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment'.

".......Eh? Eh? What?"

I smile triumphantly as I watch her struggle and fail to grasp the situation she's in.

What an easy victory.

It was that easy to remove someone's 'box'?

I look at the 'box'. It's hard and round, and jet-black like a cannonball, but I'm sure Daiya's 'box' looks different. The agony of its 'owner' radiates from the small 'box' in my hand, but I don't care about that.

"...Ah?" Only after seeing the object that I'm holding does Iroha-san realize what I've done to her. "Ah...! Aah!"

She's reacting as though I tore out her heart. She clutches her chest and looks up at me with an ashen face.

"What... what have you done?"

There's no need to explain the obvious.

I remain silent, and Iroha-san continues.

"H-How can you do something like removing a 'box'?!"

...Why, huh? How should I respond?

Because I'm the 'knight'. That would be the truth, but it would be meaningless to Iroha-san.

Then, how should I respond?

The first thing that comes to mind is what Daiya once said to me.

—Oh boy, Daiya sure is sharp. He's always spot-on with his analyses. I denied it back then, but he was right after all!

I close my eyes for a moment, and proclaim:

"Because I exist to trample others' 'wishes'."

In a sense, it's a declaration that I'm her enemy.

Her widened eyes are fixed on my face. After getting a glimpse of my expression, she moves her gaze down to the 'box' I'm holding in my hand.

After making this circuit several times, she finally realizes what I'm up to and grows even paler.

"Sto... Stop it! If you crush it, I'll!"

"There is no valid use for a 'box'."

"I have no other choice! After learning about it. After learning about a power that can perform miracles! I can't imagine living without it... I can't endure a life without 'boxes' anymore! Give it back to me!"

I see. Once you discover a loophole in reality, you can't live without it. I think 'O' once told me something similar. That means that merely learning about the 'boxes' has a tremendous impact.

It can't be helped. I have to teach her a lesson.

"What's the magic word?"

"Huh?"

"Beg for me to please, please refrain from crushing your 'box'! But prostrate yourself before me first."

"...What's wrong with you, Kazuki-kun? What's the point?"

"You're not even desperate enough to prostrate yourself? It must be a silly 'wish' then! You aren't prepared to swallow a bitter pill yourself, even though you're willing to sacrifice others?"

"You're evading my question!"

"Because I won't accept any questions from you! Come on, beg already!"

Apparently realizing that I'm serious, Iroha-san bites her lips.

"...You can't trick me. There's no guarantee that you won't crush my 'box' even if I abase myself."

"Of course there's no guarantee. But unless you prostrate yourself before me, I will crush this 'box' without fail. Don't be so choosy!"

She doesn't respond to me and instead looks at 'O'.

"It's futile! 'O' won't help you."

"......tch!"

"I know that making you prostrate yourself before me isn't a good idea. You could wait for a gap in my defenses and recover your 'box'. That's why you just looked at 'O' - because you’re hoping that he might interfere and open that gap for you. But it's futile. The one telling me to test my power is 'O' himself, so he won't get in my way. And because I know that you're looking for a chink in my armor, I will not let my guard down."

"Ugh..."

"If you want to stop me from crushing your 'box', you have no other choice but to appeal to my better nature. Prostrating yourself might not be entirely pointless, you know? I think crushing this 'box' is the right choice, but if you can convince me otherwise, I won't do it."

Technically, that's not a lie.

I don't think she can possibly change my mind, but if she somehow managed to do so, of course I wouldn’t destroy her 'box'.

"......"

Iroha-san lapses into silence.

For a while, she doesn't move.

But eventually,

"U, uuuuuuh..."

She started crying.

Still lying on the ground, she overflows with tears. Like a helpless child begging for something, she overflows with tears and screws up her face.

And then she does as I said. She prostrates herself before me, touching her forehead to the ground.

Honestly, I'm surprised.

—That's Iroha-san? The strong-willed Iroha-san who cut off her own finger to reach her goals in the 'Game of Idleness'...?

"I beg you. Please, do not destroy it. Please, give it back to me," she says frantically with tears flowing from her eyes.

She's not blindly doing it because I commanded her, but because she knows that begging and prostrating herself is all she can do. Like a helpless child who knows that the adult abusing her won't stop until she weeps and cries.

I have brutally cornered Iroha-san.

There's no way my heart wouldn't ache at that sight.

"...Without it...without it... I can't live anymore..."

Iroha-san craves this 'box' like an addict.

She seriously believes that the 'box' is the support she requires. She thinks that she can't live without a 'box' anymore, and as a matter of fact, that might have become true after she found out about and started using it.

That's how those 'boxes' work.

They wreck people so that they can never return to who they were.

"...I heard you. You can no longer do without a 'box'. If you lose it, a deep wound in your heart will remain."

"...Yes. So please, give it back to me. I'll do whatever you want..."

As I grieve over the sight of Iroha-san's crying fit, I hold the 'box' in front of her face.

She must have believed that I wouldn't return it so readily, so she looks at me with surprise. Seeing my gentle smile and the 'box' before her eyes, her face loosens with relief.

"T-Thank you..." she says gratefully as she reaches out with greedy hands.

"Thank you?" I incline my head. "Even though I'm telling you that I will wound you mortally?"

"Eh?"

"You can't possibly think that I'd ever return this to you?" I say as I crush her 'box'.

A black secretion squirts between my fingers as if I had just squashed a giant insect, staining my hand and her face.

Iroha-san's face freezes as if time stood still while she was bathed in the remnants of her own 'box'.

She touches her face and traces it again and again to understand what just happened. Over and over, she confirms that the 'box' has been destroyed with her trembling fingers- unwilling to believe in its destruction, even though it's all too real.

"Uh, ah—"

At last, she accepts the truth.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Either because crushing the 'box' also had a direct effect on her body, or out of pure psychic shock, Iroha-san’s eyes roll up in her head and she passes out.

"Whew," I sigh while looking down at her.

Some weeping and some begging?

Are you kidding me?

I expected things to play out this way. I even expected that I would be saddened to a certain extent while watching her beg. Therefore, if there had been a way to touch my heart and convince me not to destroy her 'box', it definitely wasn't begging and appealing to my sense of pity. Instead, she should have stood up for her ideals despite her desperation, and confronted me with overwhelming strength of will in spite of her hopeless situation.

If Iroha-san had still been in her right mind, she would have done exactly that, and perhaps convinced me to reconsider my stance on the 'boxes'.

But she wasn't able to do so. The old Iroha-san would never have prostrated herself and passed out. She's lost her sense of self to a ridiculous degree.

Isn't that proof that she danced to the bidding of her 'box' and that it only made things worse for her?

That's why I showed her the destruction of her 'box' in such graphic detail. I taught her that she won't ever be able to regain her 'box'.

I don't know if she will be able to recover from this; it's unlikely, to be honest. But it's better than letting her obtain a new 'box' and go on making mistakes. It's way better than having her hurt others because of her fucked up beliefs. Iroha-san will have to accept living without a 'box'.

If you can't, Iroha-san, go die in a fire and don't get in my way.

"It's evident now," 'O' says to me while I'm looking down at her. "You have definitely been influenced by the 'Flawed Bliss'. You have gained the power of a 'knight'."

"Seems so," I respond and look at 'O'.

The expression on the face of this uber-pretty version of 'O' isn't the one of calm that I'm accustomed to. It's a vacuous expression similar to that of a doll. And just as a doll crafted too masterfully looks more uncanny than beautiful[4], the hollow expression on that perfect-looking girl disgusts me.

Ah—I see.

Subconsciously, I have seen through his... no, her true nature all along, and that's why she always disgusted me so much.

Exactly. I suddenly remember now. When I saw her in that scene that I could only remember in my dreams, she looked exactly as she does now.

That's what 'O' really looks like.

And that's the expression she displays in her true form.

That means that she has finally decided to directly confront me.

"Kazuki-kun. I once said that our goals are the same. But it seems like that statement was correct from one perspective, but wrong from another. We both act and exist for Maria Otonashi's sake. We're the same in that respect. But while I exist to grant her 'wish', you exist to destroy it. While our actions are equally grounded in her being, our roles are the exact opposite. Jeez, what a shame considering that I still feel that we're alike. I'll have to suppress these feelings of familiarity. Because after all, we are—"

"You're right. We are—"

Enemies.

Neither of us bothers to actually spell it out.

There was no need to.

I will defeat 'O'.

That's equivalent to recovering the zeroth Maria. These two goals are linked.

"But I'm afraid to say that you won't be able to win this fight, Kazuki-kun. It may be easy to get rid of me because you need only crush the 'Flawed Bliss' like you just did with Iroha Shindou's 'box'. But while doing so ensures my defeat, it does not ensure your victory. By simply destroying it," she looks down at Iroha-san, "you might destroy Maria Otonashi's personality the way you did with this girl - or worse. Iroha Shindou might be able to recover, but it's definitely impossible for Maria Otonashi. She already has to brace herself to her very limits in order to hold herself together. The equilibrium is so unstable that losing her 'box' will cause a chain reaction that will break her completely. I'm sure you are well aware of that, but just to be clear: if you forcibly crush her 'box', her heart will definitely break to pieces and there will be no hope for recovery."

I don't want to admit it, but I think 'O' is right.

I cannot save Maria by simply destroying her 'box'. If I do that, she will collapse while still possessed by the "Aya Otonashi" she created, and never recover.

There's no point if she doesn't want to abandon her 'box' by herself.

But that is—

"It's impossible," 'O' says as if she had read my mind. "Because you betrayed her, she has made up her mind once and for all. You understand what that means, don't you? It means that she won't give up her 'box' on her own. The strength of her will is so great that she won't even flinch when her life is at stake. You have witnessed that countless times, so you know that only too well, don't you?"

Right, I have witnessed them all too well.

How Maria couldn't use force in even when she was about to be killed. How she couldn't sacrifice anyone because she wants to make everyone happy.

To destroy her 'box' for her own sake.

Maria would never accept that. She would never act for her own selfish happiness. I gave in to despair too early, thinking that there was no way to save her.

However.

"I can do it!"

I've learned that I'm the savior.

I've learned that I'm the 'knight'.

"Maria will definitely yield her 'box' to me!"

I don't know how I can achieve my goal, but I can still believe in my own power now that I’ve finally accepted my ‘box’.

This power was created by Maria herself because she wished for it, so there's no way I can fail.

I will perform a miracle that will turn everything on its head.

"Because I have the 'Empty Box' with me now."

Nothing can stop me now.

Mm...first off, I'll recover Maria from Daiya. After that, I'll fight Maria herself and make her give up her 'box'.

"I see. Then I shall destroy the 'Empty Box'."

'O' will definitely become my enemy.

...Ah, only now did I recognize the true identity of 'O'. I have finally noticed after realizing that she's my enemy.

Why didn't I notice such an obvious thing sooner? I should have recognized her much sooner. At the very least, I should have been able to perceive it once I saw her current form.

I mean, didn't I think that they looked alike when I first saw her?

'O'

It's just an initial. Maria has created this being, so I suppose that she subconsciously gave it the name 'O', which she was familiar with anyway. If that's the case, there's only one meaning to the name that I can think of.

She wanted to become a being that grants others' wishes. And in a sense, 'O' is exactly that. —In a sense, 'O' is her ideal.

And there's the name of the person Maria is trying to become by stifling her own self.

Yes, their roots were the same. That's why I consider them both my enemies.

I call out the name of 'O' with deep hostility.

"'O'Aya Otonashi"

I don't know the origins of that name. Maybe there was an actual person who served as an inspiration. It's Otonashi, so maybe it was a member of Maria's family.

What I know is that both of us, 'O' and I, exist for the sake of Maria.

But we cannot coexist. Since we oppose each other from the very depths of our respective beings, only one of us can survive. But I absolutely will not lose.

So I make my intent just as absolutely clear.

"I will kill you, 'Aya Otonashi.'"

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