Published at 26th of March 2019 12:07 am

Volume 7, Part 1

Will this, too, become a moment that I will only be able to remember in my dreams?

"Are you ready?"

My opponent, O, stands before me in the apartment that Maria had once occupied. I glare at her, and my mind starts to wander.

I'm confronting a beauty possessing a horrifying charm; she has long hair redolent of Maria's, the slender arms and legs of a top model, and a delicate face with a glued-on smile. Yes… "glued-on" is just the way to put it: her smile is so perfect that it resembles that of a masterfully crafted doll.

It's an uncanny smile that arouses a primal fear.

Until now, O's face kept slipping my memory when I woke up. This will stop now.

O no longer remains the mysterious being she once was, because I learned that she was created via Maria's box, the Flawed Bliss. If Maria's box is the cause of my amnesia, then I should be able to withstand it with the aid of my Empty Box.

Yes! Focus on her, Kazuki!

—O (Aya Otonashi)

She is your enemy.

"─────────────────────────────"

It's all right.

My thoughts are back to normal now that I've affirmed that she's my enemy. I smell scented oil everywhere. The fragrance of peppermint serves as a powerful reminder of my goals.

—I will bring Maria back.

—I will make her a part of my everyday life.

—I will meet the Zeroth Maria, the girl who was still ignorant of boxes.

I will go to any length for the sake of my goals. I've already sacrificed one of my friends. If I had to kill every single human being on this planet, I would do so without a second thought. Quite literally. I'm dead serious.

I take a deep breath and glare at O.

"Are you ready?" she asks with an uncanny and all-too-perfect smile. "To say goodbye to this world?"

I scrunch up my face as tightly as possible.

"Why would I want to do that?"

It's an undeniable truth that boxes have wreaked havoc upon my most valuable treasure, my everyday life.

Yuuri Yanagi will continue to suffer from the guilt of committing murder.

Iroha Shindou's personality and the false miracle she believed in were both crushed.

Koudai Kamiuchi was killed.

Ryuu Miyazaki killed his parents and was thrown in jail.

Riko Asami has gone missing.

Kasumi Mogi will never walk on her own two feet again.

Kokone Kirino was physically and mentally damaged until she broke down.

Haruaki Usui lost all of his friends, myself included.

Daiya Oomine is not likely to return.

And even I, Kazuki Hoshino—

I look at my right hand—at my glaring, self-inflicted wound. This wound reminds me that I'm a sinner and a lunatic who is long past the point of no return.

"But—" I mutter to myself as I clench my right fist. A burst of seemingly endless energy wells up from deep within.

Right! I won't give up on my idea of a perfect world, no matter how hopeless my situation looks.

"When we last met, you lost," O taunts me without hesitation. I muster up as much scorn as I can while staring at her, but she doesn't seem to care one bit.

"You seek to make Maria Otonashi voluntarily give up her box, correct?" she continues. "However, you should be well aware that your own deeds have ruled out the possibility of that ever happening."

I bite my lips. She's right.

"In order to defeat Daiya Oomine, you chose to sacrifice Kokone Kirino before her very eyes – perfectly aware that Maria might turn a deaf ear to all your attempts at persuasion after seeing your horrible act. And your concerns were well-founded."

"…"

Maria will never forgive me for what I did, even though that was the only solution I could think of. I dug my own grave.

Breaking the silence, O continues: "But that does not matter, for something far more serious has occurred."

What does she mea—

O answers my question before I can even pose it.

"Maria Otonashi forgot about you."

"Wha—!"

My goal is to get Maria to abandon her box. I must make her abandon the very goal that drives her to such extremes in search of a new box: exclusively wishing to help others. It's beyond the scope of my imagination to figure out how I could ever persuade someone with an iron will like Maria to do that.

And, as if the situation weren't hopeless enough … Maria lost her memory?

I'm supposed to persuade her like that? …Impossible. I mean, who would listen to the words of a total stranger? How could a stranger influence anyone's heart? My words can no longer reach her.

The situation is bordering on hopeless.

No, there is no hope at all.

However, that's not what I'm most concerned about.

"…She forgot about me…? She lost the memories of the time we spent together … this must be a bad joke…"

—NO!

—I won't accept that!

"Uh … gh…"

I've become a stranger to Maria. Our bond, which had grown stronger than anyone else's over the lifetime we spent together, has vanished into thin air.

Maria, will you no longer recognize me when you see me?

Maria, will you no longer smile at me when I call your name?

Maria, are you no longer the girl I once knew?

—Then why fight at all? Even if I manage to destroy the Flawed Bliss, there are no common memories left to keep us together.

"It appears that you are in despair."

Of course I am! I can't fulfill my goal even if I destroy her box!

And yet—

"But you will not give up, will you?"

Yeah. I can't fathom why, but she's right.

Despite my overwhelming sorrow, I'm still glaring at O.

I will save Maria, even if she doesn't remember me. I will save Maria, even if she doesn't want me to.

I will not give up. No … that's not quite right. I can't give up. The Empty Box has me under its control. I have to keep pursuing Maria, even if it means that I will die inside. I have to continue my search for her, even if I have to plunge into the depths of the sea where I'd be blind and unable to breathe. Surrender is not an option.

O continues to stare at me and stops smiling. She displays the sternest expression that I've ever seen on her face.

"I will be honest: I am slightly afraid of you."

—An enemy.

O has finally recognized me as her enemy.

"There is no hope for you. That is undeniable. And yet … I cannot shake off the feeling that you might still be able to reach Maria Otonashi's heart. After all, that is the power you have been given."

She is talking about the power of the "savior," the power to destroy boxes.

Maria created the Flawed Bliss by wishing for everyone to be happy. However, because of the ludicrous precision of every box, her internal doubts about her wish and her secret wish for someone to stop her, came about at the same time.

Maria's contradictory wishes created two beings: a wish-granting entity, and a wish-crushing "savior."

Namely, O and me—Kazuki Hoshino.

I'm her knight. I'm the only one who has the power to save her.

"—Yeah."

I look at my injured right hand. The terrifying power to crush wishes dwells within it, the power to erase even O.

The only reason I'm not erasing O right now is that the Flawed Bliss would also be destroyed. If I did that, Maria's heart would definitely shatter.

On the one hand, this makes it seem like Maria is rejecting my help. On the other hand, I definitely wouldn't exist if not for her wish to be saved.

Therefore, there must be a solution, no matter how unlikely. I can and do believe it.

All right, let's summarize.

What can I do to save Maria?

There is just one simple answer: I have to free her of the person in front of me.

I say the name.

"Aya Otonashi."

O—Aya Otonashi—starts to smile again, overflowing with self-confidence.

"Aya Otonashi, hm? That's the appearance I've taken on. And indeed, she is my origin. But I am not actually Aya Otonashi."

"I suppose so. You're just an image Maria has of Aya, not the real person. I'm sure the original Aya was an amazing person as well, but she was still only a human. She couldn't possibly be as unearthly as you are. Something must have driven Maria to deify her sister."

I clench my teeth as I think about how Maria must have grown up.

"Aya Otonashi has grown too large inside Maria. Maria can't flee from her and, at this rate, she will remain trapped. She is neglecting herself—denying herself—in order to become the monster known as Aya Otonashi. So—"

I point my right hand at O, and shout:

"So—release her right now, 'Aya Otonashi!'"

Needless to say, O doesn't bat an eyelash in response to my command.

"You are barking up the wrong tree. I do not know how to release her, and neither do you. Ah, but I do know exactly what you are going to do."

"What…?"

I have no idea what I should do next. Despite that, O claims to know what I am going to do.

"How could I know, you might ask? Well, I can tell because there is only one thing you can do, and since you only have a single choice, you will choose it sooner or later, no matter how futile it is. It is just a meaningless struggle that will bear no fruit, like aimlessly diving into the depths of the sea. However, you have no choice but to head there, even if there is not a single strand of hope to be found."

Suddenly, I recall what O mentioned earlier.

"…That one thing I can do, it's—"

"—It's to leave this world. Exactly."

While I haven't the slightest idea of what O means, I somehow know that she's right.

"You will leave this world and never return. Of course, that means that I win. If that happens, Maria Otonashi will continue to pursue her 'flawed' wish until there is nothing left of her. I just need to wait it out."

"I won't let it come to that."

"Yes, I suppose if you managed to come back to this world, it would mean that you somehow fulfilled your mission of saving Maria Otonashi. That would mark my defeat and I would disappear. You would have released her from her sister—from Aya Otonashi."

It's quite simple.

In other words, I just have to return. Return to my precious "everyday life."

I will meet her. I will finally be able to meet Maria in her purest form, before she entered that world of endless recurrences.

—I will meet the Zeroth Maria.

Ah—but just how difficult will my task be? My dear "everyday life" has been destroyed; how can I bring Maria to a place that no longer exists?

However, as O said, I will continue to struggle, no matter how hopeless my cause is.

"Very well, Kazuki Hoshino. It is time for the final battle," O says as she extends her arms. With her gaze tightly focused on me, she distorts her beautiful yet hideous face.

"Enjoy yourself inside the Flawed Bliss."

With those words, O embraces me.

It's disgusting, and yet I can't fight her off. I try to grab O's shoulders and push her aside, but my hands just slip through her intangible body. It's like I'm getting caught up in cobwebs. Bit by bit, I'm consumed by O's body.

I can't breathe.

I'm drowning inside O.

Slowly but surely, I'm sinking into her. The progress is so gradual that I feel as if I'm completely motionless. However, the light gradually grows weaker; I barely realize that I'm falling.

Sinking, sinking, forever sinking—

—Where am I?

It's almost like I'm in the deepest part of the sea, yet its brilliance makes me feel like I'm bathing in the midday sun.

The incessant noise is hammering away in my head. I hear laughter all around me, but I can't tell where it's coming from. I can't escape the laughter, even if I were to cover my ears. It's so unbearably loud that I want to stop thinking altogether.

I'm not breathing, yet I feel no distress. My body starts to melt into the space around me. The space around me starts to take over my body.

I lose myself.

I disappear.

I don't know what's going to happen, but one thing's for sure.

By the end, I will have completely melted away.

1st time

"I love you, Kazu-kun."

Not interested. I can't afford to deal with matters of love right now.

23rd time

"I love you, Kazu-kun."

Please spare me. How do you expect me to react?

1,050th time

"I love you, Kazu-kun."

I'm so happy. What else could I feel after being confessed to by a girl with such a lovely smile?

13,118th time

My brain has stuck to the insides of my skull like chewing gum that's been stomped on repeatedly. A constant feeling of nausea is possessing my body, as if I were bathing in a pool of used oil. I'm rotating back and forth like I'm trapped in a washing machine, yet the scenery around me doesn't change: annoying laughter and darkness.

I can't see anything.

I just keep on repeating.

These loops will continue until I've melted into the darkness. These loops will continue until every last one of my cells has disappeared. These loops will repeat without end.

—I wake up.

While suppressing the urge to throw up, I rub my eyes and confirm where I am.

I see an upside-down blackboard. Apparently, I'm in a classroom at school.

"…Was I dreaming?"

I'm lying on the floor of my classroom. I stand up, scratching my head.

The classroom looks different. The desks have been grouped in blocks of four, each desk decorated with a colorful striped tablecloth. The windows are plastered with homemade flower ornaments. The blackboard shows a lovely drawing of a maid, clearly drawn by the girls of our class, with some words to the right:

"Maid Café"

"…Haha…"

A bewildered laugh escapes my lips; the discrepancy between my nightmares and the silly words I just read is just too great.

"—Right … today's…"

It's Saturday, October 10th. The day of our school festival.

Once I remember that, the noise around me suddenly becomes comforting.

"Hello, hello? Is it fun staring into the air with something like that in your hand?" a familiar voice suddenly says.

"Hm?" I mutter as I turn toward the voice. "Ah!" I exclaim and look away.

—Whoa! I wasn't prepared to see an attractive pair of legs right in front of me! This girl's even wearing gorgeous white knee socks!

"Oh? Oh-oh? What am I to make of that reaction? Did my beautiful legs arouse you?" she jests.

"O-Of course not!" I counter and lift my eyes. Kokone Kirino stands before me with a grin on her face. She's clad in a light blue maid costume, one somewhat reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland.

"What were you doing while everyone else is working like crazy?"

"Erm…"

What was I doing before I fell asleep again?

I remember lying down because I didn't know what to work on and got bored; I must have fallen asleep after that. It's probably because the day before, we were also preparing for the festival until late into the night.

I'm holding a cylindrical object. Right! Before I accidentally fell asleep, I wanted to eat some Umaibou (corn potage flavor—I love that stuff). Umaibou are like energy drinks to me, and they cost but a meager 10 yen each. They're so cheap, everyone should buy them.

In an attempt to energize myself, I try munching on it.

—Clank.

"…Huh?"

Umaibou aren't supposed to be that hard.

"Oh my god! How can you play my recorder so shamelessly in front of everyone…?!"

"Your what?" I ask in confusion and look at what I'm holding.

For some reason, I'm holding an alto recorder in my right hand instead of an Umaibou.

"Huh? How?"

"OH NO HELP ME! A perv! We have a foul pervert among us!" Kokone shouts.

"…Urm? W-Whoa, no no no! I didn't mean to…!"

"Nooo! He's licking my flute! He's licking it! He's gonna take it home and place it on an altar! He's gonna use it to play with soap bubbles! He's gonna play the finest melodies while blowing soap bubbles!"

"I've never even heard of such a perverted guy!"

—However, I really can't remember picking up an alto recorder anywhere.

That means…

A deep sigh escapes my lips. I finally regain my composure and ask Kokone:

"Erm, Kokone … you swapped my Umaibou for your recorder, right?"

Simply put, Kokone played a prank on me.

"Hah? I, have, no, idea, what, you, are, talking, about," she says, playing dumb. "I mean, why would I even do that? Why would I possibly want a boy who's not even my boyfriend to play my flute? Does that sound like the behavior of a normal high school girl to you?"

"No, not at all, but I'm sure you can come up with a reason."

"Oh come on, use your common sense, okay?" she continues. "No naïve, adolescent girl could come up with such a strange idea, right? Surely you understand that?"

"Yes."

"In other words, you stole my flute yourself and played it. That's the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. You are a pervert, Kazu-kun. Please admit it. I won't quit until you do."

"Hah…" I sigh.

"Now repeat after me: 'I'm a pervert.'"

She would probably get even more annoying if I refused, so I give in.

"I'm a pervert," I say.

"Okey-dokey, next comes … Repeat after me: 'I'm a pervert. My hobby is to embarrass girls by staring at the hairs they forgot to shave.'"

"I'm a pervert. My hobby is to embarrass girls by staring at the hairs they forgot to shave. In particular, I can never get enough of armpit hair."

"Eek! Y-You're the real thing! Stay away from me!"

For some reason, she really seems to be appalled, even though she's the one who made me say those words.

"By the way, your maid costume looks great on you."

"Oh, what an abrupt segue. Well, I was getting bored anyway … Ah, um, my maid costume you say? Yeah, it's really pretty. But let's be honest here: everything looks great on me, no? I'm an unparalleled beauty, no?"

"Yeah. You're an unparalleled beauty. And isn't the weather lovely today?" I say.

"What's up with that indifferent reaction?! You started singing my praises first!"

I think you're cute, but what else am I supposed to say when you're bragging so much…?

"Uh-huh, I bet you're cross because this maid costume isn't designed to emphasize my bust, eh? So you're saying I have to show off my massive E-cups and seduce everyone, eh!?"

Not even close.

"Not only are you a flute perv with an armpit fetish, but you're also a knee-socks addicted boob-afficionado! The word 'closet pervert' is made for you, Kazu-kun! Kneel down before my splendid E—Ouchy!"

Someone rapped Kokone on the head.

"Hah…" sighs Daiya Oomine, the guy who just smacked Kokone.

Daiya just recently dyed his hair back to its natural black color, but even after removing his piercings, the holes in his left ear are still visible. Because of his handsome face and snappy personality, people call him the sharp-tongued prince.

That being said, he's settled down a bit these days. He even listened to his classmates and dressed up as a butler for the school festival. He would never have gone along with something like that before.

But if a butler as testy as Daiya really existed, his insults against the lady of the house would have him fired within a day. Or … maybe there's demand for that sort of thing?

Anyway, while Daiya also loves to tease me, he usually stops Kokone when she's going too far.

"Thanks Daiya, you came just at the right time! Say something to her!"

"Hm…"

I bet he's going to say something along the lines of "You're an insult to my eyes. You can try to dress up as much as you want, but you won't be able to hide your true colors. Fine feathers may make fine birds, but that doesn't apply to pigs like you."

Yeah, something like that.

In line with my expectations, Daiya, the consummate cynic, spits out:

"Don't play with another boy in front of me. Now I'm jealous."

—What?

Urm, eh?

Could it be that … Daiya's fallen head over heels for her…?

"…Awawa…" I utter in confusion…

W-What's going on…? Sure, I know that they finally started dating, even though they used to get along like oil and water, but still…!

"Aw…" Kokone says as she blushes, apparently just as surprised as I am. "U-Urm…! Y-You're my one and only, Daiya … you can be sure of that…" she mutters as her voice fades away. She's behaving more girlishly than ever before.

"But you're getting closer to Kazu than necessary, aren't you?" Daiya says.

"We're friends! It's just because we're friends!"

"Hmph, fine then. It's really annoying that you don't seem to fully understand how attractive you are."

"I-If you say so, Daiya, I will make sure to be more self-aware!"

As she settles down, Kokone starts to smile from ear to ear. She rubs her head against Daiya's chest.

…Are they going to make out in front of me? Get a room already!

"Oh … did you change your cologne?" Kokone asks.

"You have an excellent nose."

"Well, I'm used to smelling that stuff every day. But wearing cologne is against the rules—you're such a bad boy."

"What about your dyed hair?" Daiya retorts.

"You said you like brown better than black on me. I wouldn't mind switching back to wearing glasses or going natural either, but you're the one who said you prefer my current look."

"Yeah, you look great. You don't need to change it back unless you feel like it; I prefer your current style. But that wasn't the problem I was talking about, was it?"

"…Mm," she nods as she looks up at Daiya. "…Your butler outfit looks so cool … Daiya, honey, try saying 'welcome home, princess' to me!"

"Silly-butt. There's no way I'm gonna say that. You say 'welcome home, master.'"

"I don't mind at all. Welcome home, master. Ah … next time I come over to your place, I'll wear my maid outfit while saying that!"

I'm in despair.

W-What the hell is this…?! T-They've turned into a saccharine-sweet couple! Kokone's still recognizable, but what's up with Daiya's attitude?! I never wanted to see him like that! This isn't my Daiya anymore!

"Hey Kazu, what're you gaping at?" Daiya asks.

"I-Isn't it obvious? Don't show off like that in front of me!"

"I've gotta do it because I'm so popular with the girls. I get in some troublesome situations if I don't make it a point to demonstrate that I'm in a relationship from time to time."

"…There are several things I'm itching to comment on, but I'll keep those to myself. Let me just ask … aren't you embarrassed?" I say.

"There is no reason to be embarrassed about being seen with my lovely girlfriend."

God, he's embarrassing as hell!

"…So you're not embarrassed about being with me?"

"If anything, I'd brag about it."

"Ehehehehe"

"Haha"

"Hehehehe"

"Hahaha"

Cut it out! I don't want to listen anymore!

I end up more embarrassed than either of them. Suddenly, I feel someone's hand on my shoulder, so I turn around.

"They're horrible, aren't they? They're clearly showing off to make us single folks jealous!"

It's Haruaki Usui, a friend of ours.

I start to nod in agreement, but yelp in surprise once I take in Haruaki's outfit. He's also cosplaying, but for some reason, he's wearing another school's girl's uniform. His broad shoulders are about to burst through the uniform, and because his top only goes down to his navel, the green shirt he's wearing underneath is totally visible. His manly legs, packed with muscles built up from his baseball activities, peep out of a skirt. At least shave those legs, for crying out loud!

How can he wear that getup so shamelessly, anyway? Does he think he's lolling about in the privacy of his own home or something?

"Sigh! I want a cute girlfriend too! You're my only ally, Hoshii!"

"…Tch!" I spit out as I shove his hand off my shoulder.

"Huh? W-What's wrong, Hoshii? That was cold."

"…I know everything, Haruaki," I say in an unusually deep tone.

"…What do you mean?"

"I hear you're doing really well with a girl from another school. You even went on a date?"

"Ugh."

"Ah…! That uniform! It's from that girl, isn't it!"

"…" Haruaki remains silent, a forced smile glued to his face. My guess seems to have been spot-on.

"You've got quite some nerve, pretending that I was your 'only ally' when you're busy making out with your gal. That borders on violence against all us lonely guys!" I chide Haruaki while smiling miserably.

"…No … I mean … look, we've gone out on a date, but we're not exactly dating. Anything could still happen at this point. That's why, you see, I'd like to play the unpopular character for a little longer…"

"Feh!" I say as I pretend to spit on the floor. "You're like some rich guy who gets off on slumming it!"

I continue to laugh miserably.

"A-Aren't you exaggerating? That analogy doesn't really ring true for me, either … and hey, you're no better, Hoshii!"

"Hm?"

"You and Kasumi clearl—MHMHM!"

The moment he mentions that name, Kokone covers his mouth. I can't help but blush and shut up.

After all, Kasumi Mogi is the girl I'm in love with.

—T-That's strange. I never confided in anyone, so how did Haruaki come up with her name like that?

Kokone whispers into Haruaki's ear, "…Shh, Haru-schmucki! They're still in the brittle early stages of their relationship … best to let them be…!"

"…Ah, you're right … but come on, it's clearly mutual…"

"…Hush now! If we barge in, we might accidentally mess up their relationship … those two aren't even aware that they're acting lovey-dovey all the time…!"

"…Seriously? Are they still stuck in elementary school, or what…?!" Haruaki replies.

Guys, I'm right here!

B-But, it's mutual? W-What could he mean by that? That's not possible. It's true that Mogi-san often smiles at me … but that's because she's a cheerful girl. And she's only asking me for help all the time because I'm a helpful guy. Yeah … exactly.

But.

But, given what they're saying, perhaps she really—

"Kazu-kun?"

"Eek!" I exclaim after hearing an unexpected voice.

I spin around.

"Hm?" the slender girl in a wheel-chair mutters. It's Kasumi Mogi, her eyes open wide in surprise at my overreaction. "What was that 'eek' for? Does this nurse uniform not suit me?" she says, pursing her lips and hanging her head low in shame.

I, I didn't know that Mogi-san was cosplaying as well … She's wearing a pink nurse's uniform.

My heart is pounding like mad, to the point where I'm worried that other people might actually hear it beating. In my panic, I can't even make eye contact.

There's no way that uniform wouldn't suit her! I'm infamous for my tear fetish, but I also have a fetish for maid's and nurse's uniforms! (The cat's out of the bag now.) Besides, Mogi-san would look cute wearing a garbage bag!

I have to tell her!

"It looks great on you! You look lovely!" I say while she looks up at me.

"L-Lovel—"

"Really! You're lovely! The loveliest girl around!"

"~~~~~~!!" she looks at the floor, her face red as a beet.

Huh? What's wrong with her? All I did was tell her what I was thinking…

"Oh boy, there he goes again, really working his skills as a player," Haruaki sighs.

"Lately, I've come to think that he's doing it on purpose," notes Kokone.

"For real? He's one wicked bastard if that's true."

"Seemingly naïve boys like him get laid more often than you'd expect. They're experts at exposing the secret desires of housewives—I learned that from my manga."

Haruaki and Kokone sure don't mince their words.

"Um-um-um-um…!" interrupts Mogi-san.

At first she seems a bit abashed by her strange utterance, but then she gets a grip and glares at me.

"Err, yes?"

"Thanks for being in charge of me today, Kazu-kun!"

She bows her head.

—In charge of her…?

I really like the sound of that, but I have no idea what it means. However, I notice that Haruaki, Kokone, and even Daiya are all grinning at me. Alright … I think I know what they're getting at.

My task is to tag along with Mogi-san all day and show her around.

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